29 Weeks pregnant with Twins!

29 Week Twin Bump! 

How far along: 30 Weeks! Update is for week 29!

Total weight gain: gained 22 lbs total and feeling all of it in my back!

Maternity clothes: Shoes! I normally run a size 6.5 and just bought new flats, I had to buy an 8.5! The next day they were pretty big so I am assuming that I had swollen feet when I tried them on, so an 8 would probably be perfect. Hoping I go back to my normal size once the babes arrive!
Stretch marks: I did get some new ones this week...which is no surprise cause they are feeling BIG!
Sleep: I used to be able to sleep most of the night and only have to get up once at around 5AM to pee....but the last few days its been 4-5 times a night! Between that and the leg cramps I am really not getting any sleep! I am so lucky I am not working and can nap during the day because the long nights are rough!
Happenings this week: We had an MFM ultrasound and a regular OB appointment. Both went well, the babe are still growing at a great rate. Baby girl is in the 37th percentile and the tech said she had more hair than she has seen on an ultrasound in a long time! Baby boy is in the 73rd percentile! (he didn't have so much hair! lol) At the OB they gave me our "end all" date! If the babes do not come before February 3rd they will be given an eviction notice! The tech also turned on the 3D ultrasound for just a couple seconds...long enough to catch this picture of Aiden! He looks JUST like me! it will be really interesting to see if any of Adam's features end up coming out later! Wish we could have gotten one of baby girl! I also packed the twins diaper bag...you can see what's in it here.... Twins Diaper Bag

Best moment of this week: Getting to see the 3D of baby boy! It was like meeting him!
Miss anything: My skin! I have always had pretty good skin, but wow have the hormones really done a number on my skin! I am so broken out on my shoulders/chest and get some painful breakouts on my face too! Its such a change I don't know what to do with it, no idea how to do my makeup!
Movement:Lots of movement from both! Baby girls kicks have started to be pretty painful sometimes so I have to shift around to get her to move!
Food cravings: Water! (not the worse craving to have)
Anything making you queasy or sick: Going into cold weather actually makes me nauseous!
Gender: A baby girl and a baby boy!
Labor signs: Not this week! 
Belly button in or out: Still very in! I have about a 3 inch scar above my belly button from a prior surgery and that is popping out!
Wedding rings on or off: ON,
Happy or moody most of the time: Its been a happy week!
Looking forward to: 4D ultrasound next week! Cant wait to see our little girls face!
Size of Baby: Aiden is 3 pounds and 11oz! Alexandria is 3 pounds 1 oz! They are well on their way to 5 pounds by birth which is great for twins!

 

Names: Alexandria Rosemary and Aiden Patrick. (baby girl is known as baby Alex for short)

Symptoms: Back pain, and dizziness, tired, some cramping, bad skin.

What's in my diaper bag, TWINS!

I have had a few people ask to share what I plan to carry in our diaper bag. I have done a lot of research on what to pack in your diaper bag as well as your hospital bag. Here is what's in our bag!


The bag! I figured we were going to have enough to carry with us so I didn't want a huge bag to lug around. I also know myself, and the bigger the bag the more "crap" I will allow to build up in there. (I am sure my purse has a mint from last year stuck in the bottom still!) We found this Carters brand bag at Babies R Us. It's really light weight which I am a big fan of. It also has a ton of pockets which again I am hoping helps make me more organized, instead of just stuffing everything in.

Hand sanitizer! This is more for me than me worried about the babies being around too many germs! (I am a big believer in them being exposed to germs to help build their little immune systems) I have the most sensitive nose/gag reflex to smells! I do NOT do well in public restrooms, especially in restaurants with a full stomach. I NEVER use public restrooms if I can avoid it! However when I do I spray perfume on the top of my shirt and pull it over my face the whole time I am in the stall to keep me from gagging! ( I know...I am weird) Sooooo knowing I will have to use more public restrooms with my hands full  I am hoping the nice strongly scented hand sanitizer will help! (and okay...kill some germs too!)

Face and Hand wipes these are more gentle than butt wipes so they can be used on sensitive faces and also are safe on hands that go into their mouths constantly. They can also be used to clean binkys that have dropped on the ground. 

Binkys right now, I only have 2 in the bag (one for each) as I don't plan on giving them to them for the first couple months to avoid nipple confusion. I am sure I will add  couple more into the bag once they are the babies best friends. 

Baby lotion For me, for babes! I have dry skin and I am constantly putting on hand lotion, With the added hand washing after diaper changes  I am assuming I will be using this more than them! 

A change of clothing for each baby, and a pair of PJ's (2nd change of clothing) for each baby. Starting with just the one outfit change, as I am packing the bag like we are just leaving the house for a few hours. If we plan to be gone for more than 3 hours I would add an additional outfit just in case! 

Headband for baby girl...I hate going up to people and not knowing their baby gender! And I don't want people to mistake baby girl for a baby boy :) So I am hoping headbands help the situation until they get old enough to be able to tell :) 

Diaper changing pad this one has a spot for wipes/diapers and turns into a little clutch which is nice to keep your hands free!

Diaper rash cream I am a huge fan of rash cream! We put it on my niece every time we changed her and she never got a rash, I don't want my poor babes to ever have to deal with something that sounds very uncomfortable! 

Mini plastic bag dispenser I never knew these existed and I love them! This little dispenser holds mini powder scented bags to hold diapers or soiled cloths! Genius! 

Diapers and wipes this little cloud bag is the perfect place to hold diapers and wipes all together so they are not getting shoved in your big bag! This bag is what some of our crib sheets came in from Target its perfect for things like this. 

 Hats and Socks The babes will come in the middle of winter so extra hats will come in handy...and I am always seeing babies with one sock on! So I imagine extra socks will come in handy

 Burb cloths I have 4 total in the bag for all the little messes 2 will make!
Toys I just put this one little soft rattle in so far, I am sure once they get older I will add some other little toys to keep them occupied when needed!

We also have 2 receiving blankets in the bag. There is still a ton of room in the bag to add more! Would love to hear feedback from the current mommies if I missed anything! 

28 Week twins pregnancy update!

How far along: 29 Weeks, update is for 28 Weeks.
Total weight gain: gained 20 lbs total I am still pretty far under the "typical" weight gain, but it sure feels like a lot! BUT I am pretty sure I have gained at least 5 pounds in my nose! Its unreal how big my nose has gotten! I am excited to get my "normal" face back after the babes come! At least I have not had any bloody noses which usually comes with pregnancy so I have that to be thankful for!

Picture on the left is before being pregnant right is my giant honker today! 

Maternity clothes: For some reason I have been putting off buying new bras, I got down to only one bra that I could squeeze into and decided it was finally time to bite the bullet and go shopping! 1st of all....I had NO idea how much I had grown! The tummy really out shadows the top half so proportion wise they felt the same size.  However I started as a 38DD and I am now a 38F F! What the heck is an F?! Luckily motherhood maternity had plenty in stock. And let me tell you...I am mad at myself for putting it off for so long! Nursing bras are soooo comfy! I also bought nursing tops for when the babes get here.
Stretch marks: No new ones!
Sleep: Sleep is rough! I have never wanted a king size bed before...but it would be awfully nice right about now!
Happenings this week: Not a whole lot, babes have had a pretty quiet week. (thankfully) Had a couple of really sleepy days, assuming they were doing some extra growing! But the last few days I have had a lot more energy, which is awesome!
Best moment of this week: It was a pretty boring week. But I would say starting to get kicks that are stronger and stronger is a lot of fun! I love to see my stomach move when they do its a great reminder that there are really two little lives in there!
Miss anything: Being mobile! I can no longer spend the day shopping (or even a couple hours) without really paying for it later. The longer I am on feet my back hurts and I start to cramp.
Movement: Lots of movement from baby girl Alex! There is not a 1/2 hour that goes by that I don't feel her wiggling all over the place! Baby Aiden is a little more laid back! But when he kicks its with lots of POWER! The kicks are starting to get a little painful but I love it!
Food cravings: My dad had to go and tell me that Dr. Pepper twizlers are yummie and now that's all I can think about and cant find them anywhere!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Going into cold weather actually makes me nauseous!
Gender: A baby girl and a baby boy!
Labor signs: Not this week! 
Belly button in or out: Still very in! I have about a 3 inch scar above my belly button from a prior surgery and that is popping out!
Wedding rings on or off: ON,
Happy or moody most of the time: Its been a happy week!
Looking forward to: Ultrasound on Tuesday! I love to see our babies and see how big they have grown!
Size of Baby: At my 25 week appointment Aiden measured 2.1 pounds and Alexandria measured 1 pound and 11oz! Aiden was in the 80th percentile and Alex in the 25th. I was worried about the difference but the doctor said its totally normal. Its normal for baby A to be smaller because the have less room and also normal for boys to be bigger! My next apt is on December 2nd, I am hoping for 3 pounds each!

 

Names: Alexandria Rosemary and Aiden Patrick. (baby girl is known as baby Alex for short)

Symptoms: Back pain, and dizziness, tired, some cramping.

We can't believe it!!

      We can't believe it and are still in shock....but we gotta baby in here!! I always thought it would work, but can't believe it worked on the first try! After years of blood work, tears, shots, surgeries, we are now just a "normal" couple expecting a baby! 

     We of course didn't make it thru our TWW (two week wait) without any hiccups! On Wednesday I started spotting, which quickly turned into heavy bleeding and clots :( I thought it was over. It was devastating! I assumed the bleeding was my period we had a very long night of crying and searching the internet to find any possibility of pregnancy after such a heavy bleed. Dr google and my nurse I called at my RE all said it didn't sound good and to prepare for the worse. 

     Luckily I didn't have to wait long my appointment to have the blood pregnancy test was on Thursday morning. My nurse told me we really wouldn't know either way that day because if I showed pregnant they would need to confirm I didn't miscarry the baby by checking my levels a couple days later.  Anything over a 50 on the terse is positive...on Thursday my HCG levels were 264. So we knew it worked! We just didn't know if we were still pregnant. The day before my bleed I was very busy at work getting ready of a big event and I was tossing around big heavy 50 pound boxes, my nurse told me that could have caused the bleeding and a misscarriage. 

    So,we waited two more days. Saturday morning we drove to Seattle for our 2nd beta test. Our appointment was early and quick. Just the blood work and back home to wait for,that phone call. To be honest I thought it was over...when I first had the transfer I had all these cramps, tingles, movements in my tummy. But the longer it went the less I felt any different. Adam on the other hand never gave up hope he was just sure our two little embie sap were staying for life!

    The call came quick...quicker than we expected. I answerd the phone barely being able to breath. The nurse made idel chit chat....how are you...oh fine you? The whole time I was trying to read her voice is this a happy call? Or the call she probably dreads? Then she said it...well your HCG is level is....768!!!! Congratulations your officially pregnant everything looks great! I was in shock! I let her finish telling me that the thyroid test etc they ran were also normal so we are all set. Then I realized I didn't know what to do next everything with my RE was about getting pregnant, I always knew the next step. Is this fails then we try this...if your period starts then we start stims...etc. I quickly thought back to all my paperwork...there was no info beyond 2nd beta to confirm pregnancy. So I asked the nurse...ummm what do we do now? She laughed like she had gotten this dumbfounded question a million times. And let me know I just needed to schedule a 7 week ultrasound where they could confirm how many of the embryos took. (My numbers are consistent with just the one taking...or that both took and the blood was me loosing one) and we should get to see a heartbeat too! We hung up the phone and Adam just looked at me and said I told you so! I have never been so happy to concied he was right...I was wrong. 

                            Look at me keeping my NYE resolutions! 

    We spent the next hour calling our family and friends to let them know, it was the best! Samantha had planned to be here when we got the call but it came so quick she missed it! She called when on her way and I told her we hadn't heard yetto  but to hurry over cause we wanted to go to lunch to kill time. We were getting in the car to go to lunch and I just blurted it out. She was in shock kinda hugged me, acted confused, and then got in the car. About 5 minutes into the drive she started crying and said it just hit her. We are so so lucky to have amazing friends and family to share this journey with. I know it's "taboo" to share to soon, or not proper etquitte but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. Our family is the world to both of us having a child is not just about Adam and I. It's about our family our babies will become who they are because of our family not just because of us. Having their support and our amazing friends support has been amazing! There is also no way to get thru something as forgien as making a human in a test tube without the help of a lot of ladies who have been thru it before! I am so lucky to have some family who had IVF and then to meet an amazing group of ladies going thru it real time with me! Okay enough of my oscar speech! Just wanted all of you to know how much you mean to us! 

We gotta baby in here!! 

IVF in the twilight zone.

T 

I struggled with figuring out how to write this post, should I only write about the facts of my IVF treatment or write about everything happening during my IVF cycle?

 I assumed once we got the magical go ahead that meant we would be starting our cycle that the cycle would consume our life. I assumed the next three weeks would be amazing, stressful, painful, euphoric, and full of hope. I thought our world would stop and everything would be about the possibility of a baby. These are the days I have been waiting for since they told us 2 years ago that this would be our baby path. I thought the only thing on our minds would be this moment, this baby.

I was wrong.

Last Friday May 2nd my grandmother left her apartment in Janesville, Wisconsin to go out and pray with and help the homeless as she did many nights. 

Saturday someone found her purse, and she was reported as a missing person. 

Monday a body was found near where she was last seen...it was not her. It was a girl who was murdered by a man who claims he had killed 2 other people. 

Tuesday we found out we were finally ready to start our cycle, when my suppression check finally went well. 

It's Thursday, we have no new answers about my grandmother, we are excited about our cycle, we are confused and heartbroken and trying to live a normal life in the midst of the most baffling time in our lives. Everything is up in the air.

The man who killed the girl and claimed to have killed others has stopped talking, the police can not connect him to my grandma, however they can not rule him out. So we wait. 

You can find more info on her disappearance here.

http://www.nbc15.com/home/headlines/Janesville-Police-Searching-for-MIssing-Woman-257805811.html?device=tablet

I have decided that I couldn't tell my current IVF story without talking about the thing that is consuming my life right now, we love her so much and just want her home. I spend hours a day talking and texting with family trying to find anything, any clue. Clearly I am not in the ideal frame of mind to be going thru a life changing event like IVF...might not be the best time for my hormones to be thrown into overdrive. But we are hoping the IVF will work as a nice distraction. While my sister cousin and I think we are crack detectives that can rival Sherlock Holmes it won't be such a bad thing to spend a half hour a night giving myself shots and reconnecting with my husband instead of scouring the internet for clues. We are also so comforted by knowing we have the attain program. While I truly believe I will be pregnante in less than a month, it's extremely comforting knowing we have other chances if we need them. I can say that we would delay this cycle due to the stress if we didn't have the backup plan. 

So...here we go again! Below are all the important dates as they sit now (they can change based on my hormone levels they will be checking every 3 days) 

Saturday May 10th I will start taking 2 shots a day to help stimulate egg production. I will continue these until egg retrieval day.

Wednesday May 21st is egg retrieval day. They will go in surgically remove my eggs and mix them with Adams sperm.

The fertilized eggs will grow for 3-5 days in the lab

Saturday, May 24th would be a 3 day transfer (which is what we are hoping for as they usually produce better results) 

Monday, May 26th would be a 5 day transfer 

Wednesday, June 4th we will take a blood pregnancy test to see if it all works! 

Cross your fingers we could use all sorts of luck in our lives right now! 

If you don't have anything nice to say...

 

 

You know that old saying...If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all? Well I kinda live by the rule...If you don't have something nice to say keep it off the Internet! One of my biggest pet peeves in life is someone constantly making themselves a victim...and bragging about it on the Internet. So that's why my radio silence for the last month or so! I was a victim of February and most of March! I got knocked down a few too many times and was feeling sorry for myself. I didn't have anything positive to say...had little hope for anything good coming, and all energy I had I spent at pretending to be happy at work. Wah wah wah poor me right! So here is a quick run-down of February.

 

Feb. 4th My doctor emailed to tell me she would be canceling my upcoming IVF cycle because my hormone levels and glucose levels were both out of whack. She wanted me to see a specialist before going forward

 

Feb 5th I woke up extremely sick

 

Feb 7th I found out that the earliest I could get into the specialist was March 25th! Over a month away! Which delayed my cycle even more. I also assumed I would need some sort of treatment after pushing it back more.

 

Feb 9th I woke up with a cold sore! (which I know is silly...but so annoying on top of everything else and being sick still!)

 

Feb 10th I went to the doctor and Found out I had bronchitis and a sinus infection

 

Feb 12th I broke out with weird hives all over my body that lasted two days

 

Feb 17th I went back to the Doctor as I was not getting better...to find out that I now had Bronchitis, a sinus infection and pneumonia! My meds cost $400 dollars out of pocket even with our great insurance!

 

I officially had it with February...and on top of that I am living in Washington so it was wet, raining and crappy outside.

 

Feb. 18th I started my period. I shouldn't have gotten this period...I should have been on stimulation drugs ready for my egg retrieval. Getting my period was a huge reminder of this. A huge reminder that I wouldn't have a baby in my arms come next November like we had planned.

 

Feb. 19th I ran out of tampons....This oddly was my biggest breakdown. I called my dad in tears and tried to tell him through my sobbing I was upset I ran out of tampons!! He of course Laughed at me...like any sane person would! (let me also take this time to say that while I am overly emotional...I am NEVER affected by my period...have never had PMS or changes in my mood durring or around my period) this was simply me being overwhelmed and feeling like I lost something. I was finally going to be pregnate...I was finally going to get our baby...and now I had no date..nothing to look forward to excpet a date with a doctor that had nothing to do with babbies! Adam was working late and I called him with my tampon delema he of course didnt know how to handle me crying over tampons other than to say he would pick some up. I was a mess...I sat that night and cried...and felt sorry for myself for a good 4 hours. All the time knowing I was crazy...knowing I needed to get over it. Knowing that my life is blessed and perfect...but I didnt care I was sick, sad, and just wanted to pout. Just before they canceled my cycle I was at the fertility clinic 2 times a week...now I hadnt been back in over a month...I felt like I got kicked out of some sorta future mommy club!  Its right by Target so when Adam and I drive by we say oh...there is that place we used to go...we miss them...hope they let us back in soon! :)

 

This went on for a few more weeks....the sadness was quickly replaced with just trying to get through the work day being so sick. It took until March 12th before I left the house for anything other than work. We went out for Saint Patricks day..being out with my husband and friends, and laughing again was euphoric! Being simply happy felt like I was ontop of the world. Good ole St. Pat making me feel better!

The hubby and I on St. Paddys Day

 

 

So March 25th came...the specialist ran a bunch of test and told me everything was totally normal! Nothing to worry about, .she gave me the OK to move forward with IVF and she will just monitor when I get pregnate. So I am BACK IN THE CLUB! I actually could have moved forward with a April cycle, but we will be in Cabo durring key times of the cycle so we had to post-pone yet again until May, (sunny beautiful vacation in Cabo with the friends and family not the worse reason to have to delay...but I would much rather be preggers1)

 

I am still a little sick...and having a lot of issues with my asthma due to the pneumonia but now that I can step away from it all I can finally realise that I was no victim! I was only in a small rut I couldnt quite get out of, Clearly  I was not meant to be pregnat while being THAT sick! I also can now travel a lot more comfortably on our vacation. I wont be worried about playing, going out on 4-wheelers or anything like that. (I can also take advantage of the all inclusive bloody marys and Margaritas!) We also had a staffing problem at work where I was missing my assistant for most of Feb and all of March so it would have been really inconvient for me to have constant doctor apointments the IVF cycle calls for. Of course I would give all this up to be pregnate right now..but knowing its coming knowing there is a plan again..that I will soon be back at the sacrade baby making building is a great comfort.

 

Okay sorry for the long update...and the radio silence! Here's to surriving my first breakdown!