The shit they don't tell you about IVF

Now that we have finished our first IVF cycle I thought I would share some of the stuff I learned along the way that was NOT in any sort of flyer! The world of infertility is a strange foreign place and it helped me so much along the way to have lots of information, and lots of women to talk to who we're going thru the same thing. So here goes the shit no one tells you....

1. I cannot stress this point enough if your thinking about IVF, look into "guarantee" programs!!! Guarantee programs or multiple cycle programs give you multiple tries at IVF for one fixed price.If unsuccessful  and you don't not bring a baby home you get your money back. You can read more about attain programs here: Our IVF Diary- you gotta baby in there?: IVF through Attain Fertility
It's so sad to me how many IVF ladies did not know programs like this existed! There is so much riding on This and I can't imagine the heartbreak of the cycle not working on top of thinking well there went 22k and when we are ready to start again it's another 22k! Right now I am pregnant and having a lot of complications it's very scary but the one thing that helps keep me grounded is we have more tries waiting for us if this does not turn out how we hope!

2. The drugs make you extremely bloated! I never really experienced bloat during a period so I had no idea what this would be like! I gained about 5 pounds during my stim meds which is normal but went up about two sizes! As soon as I had my egg retrieval the pounds disappeared and bloating went down within a couple days.

3. As soon as your feeling back to normal after the egg retrieval you start progesterone...and it sucks! Bloating bloating and more bloating. Lots of nausea, achy bones, and general feeling of ickyness!

4. If your not scared of needles you will be! I have never been even a little scared of needles but after
endless blood draws and shots you will learn to HATE needles!

5. Your veins can go "bad" after so many blood draws if your using the same vein they will get harder and harder to get blood out of. By the time they were trying to put in my IV for the egg retrieval the had to try 5 different times to get a good vein.

6. When you unpack your meds label and organize them! There are so many it's hard to keep up and being organized makes it easier on days your running behind.

7.  Naps are your new best friend...I have not taken a nap in my entire adult life...now it's a daily occurrence! Between the meds and the emotional roller coaster your sleepy all the time!

8. Most annoying side effect of the stim meds....headaches 24/7

9. Follistim is the easiest shot...Menopur BURNS! No way to stop it.

10. The trigger shot is scarier than it looks. It's just another shot.

11. Your robbed of that..."oh my gosh look at the two lines we are pregnant!!" Moment. If you get a positive pregnancy test you still have to have a second HCG test before they declare you pregnant. So you basically are in this weird limbo for a few days...are we excited or not? I am almost 6 weeks pregnant and I am still in this limbo. I have had 3 HCG test they all come out nice and high. But I bleed almost every day. So while I am pregnant there could be something wrong...we just want to relax and celebrate but it's not an option for us. Yet.

12. Your husband even as amazing as he is, as supportive, and caring as he is. It won't be right! His reactions to things, his support will piss you off...he doesn't understand. Just remember he is trying, and no no one in the world knows exactly what your going thru, but they try. Just remember this as you want to rip your husbands head off because he is answering work emails while you think he should be watching you inject yourself with the umpteenth needle.

13. You will discover you have 3 types of friends if your open about your IVF journey. 1. The ones that don't really acknowledge that your going thru any of this. The idea that something as "private" as baby making has become a weird routine of medical procedures and daily activities for you makes them uncomfortable. 2. The ones that want to know the pertinent info. Most of your friends/family fit into this category. They are genuinely interested, care, and want to know how things are going, they think of you, pray for you,but never want to overstep your boundaries. Then you have the 3rd kind the ones that want to know exactly when your period starts, watch you inject yourself and will tell you your crazy when your crying over the fact that you chipped a nail. They won't feel sorry for you they will just be there for you then help you to the next step. I imagine for each person what they need during a fertility journey. For me I needed friend number 3 while I appreciate the other types of people, I  NEED the 3rd. I need someone to go over every detail with me, to google the symptoms, and to make me laugh when I don't know what else to feel.


14. The 4th friend.. A whole new friend I didn't know I would love or need so much! The Instagram community! You would NOT believe the infertility community on Instagram! I got to go thru my cycle real time with women all over the world. There were at least 8 other girls having the exact same procedures as me within a few days of me. It was great to get on and say "how many eggs did you get?"  "Did you have this happen?"  " is this symptom normal?"  The only thing I would recommend doing that I didn't is having a second IVF/fertility account than your personal account. I didn't think to do this at first because I am very open. However there have been a few times I wanted to ask weird kinda TMI questions to my IVF sisters that I didn't want to have to expose my co-workers etc to. Like "did anyone have clotting with their implantation bleeding?"

15. IVF takes over your life!! There is no way around it. Multiple doctor appointments, sickness from the meds. Etc. your whole life is run on the cycle. Guess it's preparing us for when a baby runs our life!

16. Most importantly none of it is more than you can handle, everyone from your doctors to your friends/family are there to help you. You will get thru it!